hello, again. i lack the words to adequately describe how i’ve been feeling, or what to do with all these things we hold as individuals. that’s okay though, i’m not in a rush to. i’m glad you’re here, and i pray that we’re swept by something beautiful as we transition into July. sending you all my love <3
Do Not Remember Me As Good.
Do not remember me as good, or full of sprite, with an armoured spirit drawn toward courage. Do not enquire about my authenticity, when I so lavishly adorn the faces of anyone I've ever despised. Do not endorse my heart in the slightest. For I know the brevity of human touch, and even more of commitment to the cause that consumes us entirely. Do not be jaded by my authoritative stance. I've seen perspectives and fought a truth; the wicker swiftly twisted into a fruit basket, a man who lusts and does so unneatly, the fires we started for our own delight. The truth within a truth, you see. Perspective threaded into animosity. I cannot shake your hand again, for I will stain it with dimension not meant for understanding. It is there, simply there to be and life exists in the man-made freckles on my fingers. Do not concern yourself with who I was. And who I'll be, for she is not the one you've heard or seen. Be glad in this. Come witness me, in all that damned atrocity. Do not concern yourself with who I am; ugly, for the sake of it, striking, like a vulture, docile, undercover. It can't be helped, this awful thing. My wingspan contorts into itself and I am, but a creature in their shell. Open the curtains when I'm gone. Open the curtains when I'm gone. Open the curtains when I'm gone, so that you do not lose sight of me. And cry because you had not known, that I was no good in the way you desired me to be.
one day, i’m going to revisit this piece and figure out why i said what i did. i’d been meditating on the title for a while now, but knew something of substance, though intangible, could be birthed from it. if i were to speculate, i’d wager that i’m arguing with myself, about what it takes to be a human. to be and be and continue to be. i know exhaustion has influenced my choices too, but i have to admit that it influences so much more at any given moment, so it might not be the most assured test. regardless, i’m glad to have written this, even if i cannot explain it. if you see yourself in it, at whatever capacity, then perhaps i’ve done my job. if not, Selah.
thank you for being here.
yours,
Thando. x
🎵:
lyin- Loyle Carner
Are You Feeling Sad? - Little Dragon (feat. Kali Uchis)
Scorpio - Molina
Keep It Warm - Flo & Eddie
This is only the intro. Feel Thando