Dog Days.

(a poem)

hey there. i’ve been lost in January’s haze. all sorts of miraculous and terrifying things that are hard to explain are unfolding so casually. what does a young woman make of such dynamism? i have no idea.

nonetheless, my writing will not stop at the hands of this strange and nuanced period. thank you for being here, it’s a pleasure and a privilege to have your attention.

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Beat this lying dog out of me. 
Let it be and grant mercy to the undeserving flesh. 
Let history be the guide, not the sitter, let it be. 

As still in conversation, let it move me, 
Beat this lying dog out of me. 
Grant mercy to the body that's undeserving of it, let the offence be
fresh. 

Lord, hear my ugly prayer before the teeth of Saturday, sharp and 
biting. 
Lodge themselves in my navel, hold breath for us, 
Beat this lying dog out of me. 

Let her rest somewhere soft, behind a bush with no shade, 
Or beneath the single evergreen that casts no shadow.
Beat this lying dog out of me. 

Let it be and grant mercy to the body that's undeserving of it. 
Let history be the guide, not the sitter,
Beat this bloody dog out of me. 

As still in conversation, let it move me,
Beat this lying dog out of me. 
Let it be, let it draw the rage from my offended hand. 

Lord, hear my ugly prayer, 
Before the teeth of Saturday lodge themselves in my navel. 
Let it be, let it move me. 

Beat this bloody dog out of me, let her rest where she'll lie quietly,
beaten, but free. 

‘Guilty’, drypoint etching by Kay McDonagh

Dog Days is one of the last poems i wrote for Waiting on a Rapture. it is a reflection of my struggle with the vices and self-imposed torture that take hold of me sometimes, a plea to be freed from the relentless weight that gnaws at my spirit. repetition was a common thread throughout this piece: ‘‘Beat this lying dog out of me’’, a cry for release, a way of expressing the deep desire to rid myself of the internal torment that seems to have become a part of me. or at least, when i had written this poem, it felt that way. it’s about confronting that persistent part of myself that i want to purge, the part that feels like it has overstayed its welcome, bringing only suffering and pain.

in asking for mercy for a body that feels undeserving, i’m acknowledging the struggle to live with these feelings, yet still yearning for relief. the mention of history as a guide, not a sitter, was used to reflect my understanding that the past should move me forward. instead, i feel caught in the cycle of fresh wounds and repeated offences.

the imagery of laying a dog to rest ‘‘behind a bush with no shade’’ or ‘‘beneath the single evergreen that casts no shadow’’ symbolises a longing for peace, for a place where shadows of the past no longer follow. the final plea for the dog to ‘‘lie quietly, beaten but free’’ captures the desire for resolution, even if it means enduring pain to get there.

yours,

Thando. x

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if you would like to read Dog Days and all my other poems, you can purchase my poetry collection, Waiting on a Rapture, using this link. i’d appreciate the support, but if you can’t, you’ll still be able to see a few of my poems and smaller versions of their accompanied essays right here on Muscle&Bone <3

p.s. i’ve got a few cool announcements and creative endeavours set for this year, of which sound is at the centre of them all!! i’m nervous but i cannot wait to share it with you.

🎵:

Infinite Supply - Jas Ratchford

Burn Alive - The Last Dinner Party

Les Fleurs (Live) - Eliza Oakes

Diorama - Choker

For the Rest of My Life - Zack Villere